2016 / 30 October

Why Hide Father’s Devotion to Parenting?

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The other day, my wife was talking to another mom whose kids study in the same school. The mom on the other side was taking extraordinary pains to explain how her husband doesn’t have time to do anything for their child. She told stories about his travel, long office hours and his general dis-interest in parental matters. This is not an isolated incident. I have seen a trend among mothers to prove that their husbands or the working spouse is too busy with the work. And the poor mother or non-working spouse is left to shoulder all the burden alone.

I was also quizzed by one mom on why I am on my kids’ class WhatsApp group. She asked,”how come you get time to look at the messages on the class group”. I replied that I have all the time in world. Honestly, at this stage in my life, I have to make time for my children. I may get a promotion or a fat bonus but I don’t want at the cost of my quality time or attention for children. It is every father’s duty to find time for the responsibility they have themselves created. Last heard, production of kids was voluntary in most of the world.

When I visited my kids’ school for a parents’ day, many mothers were without the husband and were constantly talking about their husband never making it to the school. Again, I have seen many of those fathers in school earlier. Granted that the father didn’t make it this time but please don’t generalize this.

This may be true in several cases. But in many cases, that I know for sure, this seems to be a fashionable story. Here. I am going to be in the face of people who think it is fashionable. Fathers must and in most cases do play their part in parenting. So, feel proud of the father’s contribution and flaunt it in public. There is nothing shameful about it.

This may be a phenomenon in eastern countries that are more male dominated and household as well as parenting is considered the women’s domain, traditionally. But times are a changing and a doting father is nothing to hide. And it doesn’t take away the tag of super-women from the mother as well.

For very busy executives and business people, read about how to take time out for parenting.

Feel free to leave a comment and write to me at info@ashutoshm.com

Ashutosh Mishra - YouthCoach & Author

A seeker and explorer in the quest for lasting happiness, health and well-being. An MBA from XLRI Jamshedpur and a Mechanical Engineer from IIT Delhi. Has been a senior banker with large global banks like Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank and ANZ Bank. Working in these demanding global institutions with a gruelling schedule and plenty of business travel. Was fortunate to realise the importance of health and wellbeing early on. Learnt and practiced many wellbeing tools and techniques to focus on his own well-being while balancing the demands of a high-profile career and a lovely family.

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